Life is an illusion

I watched a short film called Manoranjan. The story is about a lady telling elaborate lied to a house guest about how her mother in law is dead and how her husband is unable to accept the fact. Then the boy sees the old lady washing her face in the bathroom and bolts out of the door with his bag.   The story should have been funny. It was funny in a similar story by Saki. But we Indians want to add lot of emotional drama to it. And the film tells us the lady is mentally unbalanced and is on medication. Come on, can't we be just funny? On to Saki - when the only funny person I knew was Jeeves and P.G. Wodehouse. Good old days, good old days. We did not find the politicians of our opposite side very funny - we just ignored all of them. Search for humor books gave me Saki - Victor Hugh Munro. Not a Japanese writer - just his pen name.  But just like Wodehouse, his stories revolve around rich English men and women who have all the time to kill.   OK, downloaded West...

I was trying to pluck a mango. Not from neighbor's house. Nor from someone's house on the way. The mango had grown in our own garden. Because my husband worked hard and built a beautiful house. Planted two mango trees. Religiously watered them. Fanatically protected them.   Now the trees are 20 feet tall almost and have blossomed into hundreds and hundreds of sweet wonders.  Which made me busy this year. Since the last 3 months, I have been screeching, roaring, shouting at little kids who love the taste of raw, sour mangoes, which are luring them while they innocently were walking like little angels. No, no, I still could not reach the decibels of news anchors of our nation. But almost there. See, I would sit by the window, which was kept open for the sole purpose of keeping an eye on little thieves. The moment I see the leaves of the tree shake a little bit, I run to the window, strengthening my vocal cords. "Yaarada" (Who is there). Children run away. With the stick...

 This is how the dog had curled up in front of a house. Except for the fact that it was not looking so healthy. As it was a street dog.  I could understand. In the last few days, Bangalore summer has suddenly changed to cloudy, rainy, cold winter. So for warmth, it has to sleep like that. Who will give it a blanket or even  4 walls? I paused and thought of clicking its photo. But then I had no permission by the said dog. Sorry, I was afraid, the people inside the house may observe a stranger taking photos in front of their house and may come for verbal attack. I would have done that in their place. So I just observed, but he sensed my presence and sat in alert - who the hell are you? And why are you disturbing my sleep. He would have said that - if he was not feeling so sluggish.  Another thing which attracted me was his eyes - sad, dejected look. Like those of a child, after being reprimanded by mother. What happened - did the kind lady who would feed you daily shoo...

 That dog certainly has anxiety issues, I decided. It was continuously wagging its tail - left to right, right to left. The way I swing myself when I am more agitated than usual.  It was sitting right in the middle of the walking path of the park. Where the humans were walking busily round and round and round and round. A walk to nowhere. A walk which they hope will some how take away all the calories they consumed yesterday and will again consume today. A walk which they hope will melt away their bellies and make them slim like models. Or a walk which they hope will make them younger, healthier, will make their legs stronger, their knees pain free, their feet lighter.  And it was sitting in the middle of all their hustle bustle, without a worry in the world. Not exactly a sign of an anxious soul.  Had it finished its morning walk? Or did it plan to do after a tiny bit of breakfast? Did it hope that any of these kind people will feed it?  I as anxious as ever, w...

The weather is hot, suffocating and unbearable with a few drizzles of solace. Well, the weather at least is our own doing. We plundered the resources of earth and still continue to do so. We are, all of us wantonly destroying our planet.  Did the dinosaurs of ancient days, were as arrogant and as ignorant as us? One wonders.  And then there are few rays of hope here and there. Despite a rat burrowing a hole, despite the scorching heat, despite me being a very bad gardener, the jasmine delights us with its heavenly fragrance and ephemeral beauty.                      P.S. Since then, it has rained few days and weather is bearable. But the jasmine does not bloom. May be the rats have dug the roots, or may be it's blooming season is over. Or it might need fertilizer.         

 ಬಹಳಷ್ಟು ದಿನ ಕುಮಾರವ್ಯಾಸ ಭಾರತದ ಈ ಸಾಲುಗಳು ಮನದ ಮೂಲೆಯಿಂದ ಬಂದು ಕಿವಿಯೊಳ ಹೊಕ್ಕು ಏನೋ ಒಂದು ದುಗುಡವನ್ನು ಉಂಟುಮಾಡುತ್ತವೆ. ಕೃಷ್ಣ : ಏನು ಹೇಳೈ ಕರ್ಣ ಚಿತ್ತ ಗ್ಲಾನಿಯಾವುದು ಮನಕೆ ಕುಂತೀ ಸೂನುಗಳ ಬೆಸಕೈಸಿ ಕೊಂಬುದು ಸೇರದೇ ನಿನಗೆ ಹಾನಿಯಿಲ್ಲೆನ್ನಾಣೆ ನುಡಿ ದು ಮ್ಮಾನವೇತಕೆ ಮರುಳುತನ ಬೇ ಡಾನು ನಿನ್ನಪದೆಸೆಯ ಬಯಸುವನಲ್ಲ ಕೇಳೆಂದ (ಉದ್ಯೋಗ ಪರ್ವ, ೧೧ ಸಂಧಿ, ೧೩ ಪದ್ಯ)  ಅದಕ್ಕೆ ಕರ್ಣನ ಉತ್ತರ   ಮರುಳು ಮಾಧವ ಮಹಿಯ ರಾಜ್ಯದ ಸಿರಿಗೆ ಸೋಲುವನಲ್ಲ ಕೌಂತೇ ಯರು ಸುಯೋಧನರೆನಗೆ ಬೆಸಕೈವಲ್ಲಿ ಮನವಿಲ್ಲ. ಹೊರೆದ ದಾತಾರಂಗೆ ಹಗೆಗಳ ಶಿರವನರಿದೊಪ್ಪಸುವೆನೆಂಬೀ ಭರದೊಳಿರ್ದೆನು ಕೌರವೇಂದ್ರನ ಕೊಂದೆ ನೀನೆಂದ    ಎಂತಹ ಸನ್ನಿವೇಶ ಕರ್ಣನಿಗೆ ಅವನ ಜನ್ಮ ರಹಸ್ಯವನ್ನು ಹೇಳಿ ಅವನನ್ನು ಪಾಂಡವರ ಪರ ತಿರಿಗಿಸುವ ಪ್ರಯತ್ನ ಕೃಷ್ಣನದ್ದು. ನೀನು ಕುಂತಿಯ ಜ್ಯೇಷ್ಠ ಪುತ್ರ. ಯುದ್ಧ ಗೆದ್ದ ನಂತರ ನೀನೇ ರಾಜನಾಗುವೆ ಎಂದು ಮರುಳು ಮಾಡಲು ನೋಡುತ್ತಾ ಇದ್ದಾನೆ ಕೃಷ್ಣ.  ಜೊತೆಗೆ ಆನು ನಿನ್ನ ಅಪದಸೆಯ ಬಯಸುವನಲ್ಲ ಎಂಬ ಭರವಸೆ ಬೇರೆ! ಆದರೆ ಕರ್ಣನ ಉತ್ತರ ನೋಡಿ - "ಹೊರೆದ ದಾತಾರ - ಎಲ್ಲರೂ ಸೂತಪುತ್ರ ಎಂದು ಹೀಗಳೆದು ಅವಮಾನಿಸಿದಾಗ, ಸಾಕಿ ಸಲಹಿದ ದುರ್ಯೋಧನನ ಋಣವನ್ನು,  ಅರಿಗಳ - ಶತ್ರುಗಳ ತಲೆ ಕಡಿದೊಪ್ಪಿಸಿ ,  ತೀರಿಸಕೊಳ್ಳುವ ಭರದಲ್ಲಿದ್ದೆ. ಆದರೆ ನೀನು ಅವನನ್ನು ಕೊಂದೆ."

 Having completed ashtavakragita translation (ctrl c and ctrl v from English translation and then using google to translate to kannada), I needed something to write.  I considered Atmabodha but was not feeling it. Then I took up Shivananada Lahari of Shankaracharya. It is a work in praise of Shiva, has 100 verses and is poetic.  As I started working on each verse, I felt they were so familiar. Looked into archive, to check if I already had translated it.  Why were these verses so pleasing to me? (priya) Is it because they have both rhyme and reason - literally. Or is it because I am able to understand the words without much problem? Poetry, songs are pleasant to the ears because of the rhyming words. If they have deep, profound or pleasant meanings, we love them.  Many of Shankaracharya's works have both rhyme and reason. So love them - if not as a religious prayers, as  wonderful works of Literature. This concept I am copying from Nehru. He opines that Ve...

 Again started a free yoga course by Habuild . A good thing which happens when you join a course is, the punctuality. After completing the course two months two months back, I did exercise. I did some yoga too. But I would spend more time searching on which video to follow. And the timing was erratic. And excuses were abundant.  As I realized, this course is more of light exercise for the entire body - not so much of pure yogasana. Which is really useful for idle-ish people like me. Ideally one should do this followed by some other yoga in other part of day. One can omit laughter yoga or even meditation. Because I can never really meditate - because of my flickering mind. So 6 in the morning you can find me doing habuild exercises every single day. That is my promise to myself.  Did I also tell you about walk at home videos? Quite useful. Or rather, they were useful when I was residing in an apartment. Now I can just walk on the terrace without any video in the evenings....

Continuing on my discussion of Ek machar, I religiously close all windows of the house at 6 in the morning and 6 in the evening. The time when a nice, cool breeze tries to cool the house and our souls.  Am I masochist? May be. Times have proven that I know how to self destroy-ish. No, but in this case, it is the belief that by 6, the mosquitoes enter the house in hordes and entertain us with our songs. And sucking our bloods in the mean time.  It is a belief, so far I have not encountered the problem of these insects either inside the house or outside. May be as our city has progressed from garden city to cement city, sorry silicon city, the mosquitoes have lost their breeding grounds.  But I dare not open the windows, no matter how suffocatingly hot the weather gets, how fan circulate the  hot air making the bad situation worse. Because ek machar admi ko ya aurat ko..... The February was bad. And March is worse. Where are March showers? The cooling drizzles which ma...

 Read this blog post - Mosquitoes .  Don't you find the blogger hilarious - subtle but funny. A very common topic to which all of us can relate.  If you don't find the blogger funny, I am sorry. For me, the post is funny and priya. Because it author is me.  This is one of the earlier posts of mine in another blog (which I lost to two factor authentication - which is another story). From 2008 - 17 years ago. Back when I was not this old and not this crazy. But instead I was funny. Because I was young and innocent. Not young in age - but in life.  Now I am old and wrinkled. And neither am I funny, nor I have a life. I pass my time and my life with Netflix followed by Youtube shorts followed by Hotstar followed by twitter. And the darned life does not pass.  

 Susan met Tracie in the maternity ward in the industrial town Corby. Corby which had a steel factory and now is being rebuilt. Where older people have various diseases including cancer.  Susan is a working class woman with a son, but Tracie is an accountant - so must be smart. And this is her first child.  Both give birth, but tragically. Susan's son Connor has a hand deformed - without any fingers and Tracie's daughter has deformed ear, only two chambers in her heart and missing kidneys. And the daughter does not survive.  Here Connor undergoes surgery after surgery to give some kind of fingers to his hand using his own toes and each time infection causes the procedure to fail. The funny part is Susan's husband leaves her as 'he did not sign for it'. As if it was Susan who deliberately created a deformed child.  As Connor grows, Susan notices there are other mothers and other children with deformities and she wonders is it due to the air or water in this town....

 One method of winning is to make the opponent weak - mentally, physically and socially. This seems to be a successful tool in the hand of ruling parties in many countries. Funnily it is employed more by right leaning parties. Does that mean, the left leaning parties or center-left parties are morally superior and have higher values? May be, may be not. I am of course prejudiced against right parties.  Watched a serial - zero day. You all know about zero day vulnerability. A software has a serious vulnerability which is found out by hacker before the developer. So in this Netflix series, the zero day bug has been used to control all the digital networks of the country and stop all network activities for few minutes. Results in multiple accidents and few casualties. And the government sets up a 'zero day commission'.  The commission is led by a former president of the country- George Mullen. An elderly man with very high standards but had a personal tragedy. But the day he...

We, Indian middle class women do lead a sheltered life in India. More so if we are not working. We are surrounded by elders who protect from bad bad world out there, most of the time. That was the feeling I had when I watched Rain Dog in Netflix. It is a story about a single mom in London who is battling to have a roof over her head and put food on the table for her and her young daughter.  One of her colleagues suggests that she should apply for homes by the government. And the answer is she could get it if she were a foreigner (I think they meant immigrants).  Contrast this with the story of Sandhya in the Hindi film Pagglait. She has the entire family taking care of her. Her in laws, her parents. Though her six month old husband dies suddenly, he has left behind an insurance of 50 lakhs in her name.  I am not belittling the struggling we go through. But we more often have to worry about how to buy the next not-so-necessary thing. Not about roof over our head or food fo...

 I woke up earlier today and was browsing one site after another, frustration rising every moment. Then I decided to get up and work out. Worked out for around 10 minutes and you can't imagine the magic it brought. I did not even touch the fruit, instead grabbed a glass of water. Aha, why didn't I think of exercising 2 hours earlier? Any ways, things in the outside world are getting weirder by day. I think the proper 'kaliyuga' has arrived in full pledge. And how long will take for pralaya to end this sinful age?  Did you read or hear about yet another stampede in our capital Delhi. But we have learnt our lesson. The dead are compensated immediately - with cash. And their mortal remains released from hospitals to their families in quite a quick transactions. The accident site cleaned up in no time. The injured treated a little bit and sent back home.  Everything happened in such a high speed that one wondered did it happen in our Indya?  But again, we have learnt our...

ಬಹುತೇಕ ಹಿಂದೂಗಳು ವೇದಗಳನ್ನು ಧರ್ಮ ಗ್ರಂಥಗಳೆಂದು ನೋಡುತ್ತಾರೆ. ಇದು ನನಗೆ ಬಹಳ ದುರದೃಷ್ಟಕರ ಎನಿಸುತ್ತದೆ. ಏಕೆಂದರೆ ಹೀಗೆ ನೋಡಿದಾಗ ನಾವು ಅವುಗಳ ನಿಜವಾದ ಮಹತ್ವವನ್ನು ಗಮನಿಸುವದಿಲ್ಲ - ವೇದಗಳು ಆ ಪುರಾತನ ಕಾಲದಲ್ಲಿ, ಆರಂಭಿಕ ಹಂತಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಮಾನವನ ಸ್ಥಿತಿ-ಗತಿ ಹಾಗೂ ಮನೋವೃತ್ತಿ ಹೇಗಿತ್ತೆಂದು ಹೇಳುತ್ತವೆ. ಆಹಾ, ಅದು ಎಂತಹ ಅದ್ಭುತ ಮನಸ್ಸಾಗಿತ್ತು!  ವೇದಗಳು (ವಿದ್= ತಿಳಿದುಕೊಳ್ಳುವುದ) ಮೂಲತಃ ಅಂದಿನ ಕಾಲದಲ್ಲಿರುವ ಎಲ್ಲಾ ಜ್ಞಾನದ ಸಂಗ್ರಹಗಳು; ಅವುಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಹಲವು ವಿಷಯಗಳು ಕಲಸುಮೇಲೋಗರವಾಗಿವೆ: ಸ್ತೋತ್ರಗಳು, ಪ್ರಾರ್ಥನೆಗಳು, ಯಜ್ಞಗಳ ಆಚರಣೆಯ ವಿಧಿಗಳು, ಮಾಟ-ಮಂತ್ರಗಳು ಹಾಗೂ ಪ್ರಕೃತಿಯ ಮೇಲೆ ಅತಿ ಸುಂದರವಾದ ಕಾವ್ಯಗಳು ಇವೆಲ್ಲವುಗಳನ್ನೂ ವೇದಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ನೋಡಬಹುದು.  ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯವೆಂದರೆ ವೇದಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಮೂರ್ತಿ ಪೂಜೆಯ ಪ್ರಸ್ತಾಪವಿಲ್ಲ; ಅಲ್ಲಿಯ ದೇವತೆಗಳಿಗೆ ದೇವಾಲಯಗಳಿಲ್ಲ. ಆದರೆ ಈ ಗ್ರಂಥಗಳಲ್ಲಿ ಆದಮ್ಯ ಜೀವ ಚೈತನ್ಯ ವ್ಯಾಪಿಸಿದೆ.  ವೈದಿಕ ಆರ್ಯರು ಜೀವನದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ  ಅತೀ ಉತ್ಸಾಹ ಹೊಂದಿದ್ದ ಕಾರಣ, ಬಹುಶಃ ಆತ್ಮದ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ಹೆಚ್ಚು ಗಮನ ಹರಿಸಿಲಿಲ್ಲ.  ಆದರೆ ಮರಣದ ನಂತರ ಯಾವುದೋ ಒಂದು ರೀತಿಯ ಅಸ್ತಿತ್ವವಿರಬಹುದೆನೋ ಎಂಬ ಅಸ್ಪಷ್ಟ ಕಲ್ಪನೆಯನ್ನು ಮಾತ್ರ ಹೊಂದಿದ್ದರು. ಕಾಲ ಕ್ರಮೇಣ ದೇವರ ಪರಿಕಲ್ಪನೆ ಬೆಳೆಯುತ್ತಾ ಹೋಯಿತು: ಮೊದಮೊದಲು ಗ್ರೀಸ್ ದೇಶದಂತೆ ಒಲಿಂಪಿಯನ್ ಪ್ರಕಾರದ ಅನೇಕ ದೇವರುಗಳ ಪೂಜೆ (...

ಮೊದಲ ಮಾತು: ಈ ಲೇಖನವನ್ನು ಶ್ರೀ ಜವಹರಲಾಲ ನೆಹರು ಅವರ 'The discovery of India' ಗ್ರಂಥದ ಸಹಾಯದಿಂದ ಬರೆದಿದ್ದೇನೆ. ಈ ಪುಸ್ತಕದ ಈ ಅಧ್ಯಾಯವನ್ನು ಕೇಳಿದಾಗ (ಮೂಲಕೃತಿಯ ಧ್ವನಿ ಸುರುಳ Audibleನಲ್ಲಿ ಲಭ್ಯವಿದೆ) ನನಗೆ ಆಶ್ಚರ್ಯ ಮತ್ತು ಬಹಳ ಹೆಮ್ಮೆಯೂ ಆಯಿತು. ನಮ್ಮ ಪೂರ್ವಜರ ಬಗ್ಗೆ ನಾನೇನೂ ತಿಳಿದಿಲ್ಲವಲ್ಲ ಎಂದು ಮುಜಗರವೂ ಆಯಿತು.

Something nice happened yesterday. I finished the book  - Death interrupted after a very long time. Which means I can start yet another book "Midnight library" by Matt Haig.  Like the previous book, this too has an unique - nonreal setting. If we could select alternate lives, any one of them, and live that life,  will we feel happier and more peaceful? Or that life too was just a beautiful unreal imagination, and flawful? In which case why do we keep regretting the choice which stopped us from having that life?  That is what the book tries to decipher. Nora is an thirty five year old lonely woman who lives with her cat Voltaire. She could have been a scientist, an Olympic swimmer, a musician in a band, a glaciologist, a happily married wife with a loving husband and their own bar in peaceful rural England. But instead she just works in a music shop called String theory as an assistant. So of course she is full of regrets. Of hundreds of them.  She is politely as...

What does this flower tell you? Nothing much. This is jasmine. Beautiful fragrance. Heavenly! But quite common in our place. Jaji mallige - we call it. Which is one of large varieties of jasmine. But as we can't get a whif of this from the internet, what on earth is this photo in my blog? Major reason is I wanted to click photo of a flower. And this place provided me with some privacy.  And this photo also tells you that, every Usha, Sasha or Nisha can't become instant professional photographers, just by acquiring a mobile camera. It does not matter how many pixels the camera boasts of. Google image search told me this plant on right side is called red ginger. The flower appearance is so-so. And no fragrance. Leaves look similar to those of ginger plant.    That reminds me, did you know that traditionally in our hindu religion, one should not offer fragrance-less flowers to the God? Who knew HE was particular? This tree has such beautiful flowers - pink trumpet tree. Bang...

Lola Petticrew as Dolours in Say Nothing  The day they gave us freedom, they split us into two countries. Thus generating a continuous hatred, wars and disharmony.  The similar thing might have been done in Ireland too. But slightly differently. The Northern Ireland is still part of the their country, and southern Ireland is an independent country - Irish Republic.  Irish people too have faced centuries of exploitation, discrimination and abuse by English people. And Irish people have struggled for centuries to get back their freedom, to unify their country and to get equal rights.  Here too religion plays a role - the Irish are Catholic and British are Protestant. The cities are divided into catholic and protestant zones. And the jobs, houses all went to protestants.  And the catholic Irish people - they started IRA - a paramilitary organization, which bombed building, robbed banks and used different unsuccessful ways to topple the British government. Unsuccess...

After a long time, we are having a fogless, cloudless clear sky with colorful clouds and orange sun, who tries to create golden crystals on my window. Beautiful!  And more importantly, it gave me hope that I will be able to go for early morning walks, without worrying that I may freeze myself to death.  Welcome Summer. We welcome your wonderful scorching days with open arms.

 I was relishing my morning/noon baths in super hot water in this freezing Bangalore. (Bangalore does not freeze and never reaches single digit temperature. But for the sake of exaggeration!) And thinking to myself "bechchaneya neerage, hachchalu soapage, kuchchukuchchemba chaliyage, swargakke kichchu hachchenda sarvajna". That is not a Sanskrit or Latin quote, But our good old kannada poem modified by me. Which translates to something like "Heaven is no comparison to having a very hot water bath in the cold weather". Bangaloreans will agree.  And don't you worry  about my fluency of multiple languages. We-  the great Indians will be reasonably good in at least 3 languages - Hindi, English and our mother tongue. That makes us smarter than the rest of you, as is evident.  Thus I have been relishing and cherishing and enjoying this hot bathes. Until we received the monthly electricity bill. The bill showed the consumption to be one and a half times our usual. I wa...

I am going to be slightly political here. And being somewhat courageous.  Not really though. I am just writing about George Soros. The one foreign national who is made a scapegoat for anything and everything in India - next only to Nehru, the one foreigner who is well known to Indians and well hated here - even more hated than Hitler. So I need not worry about angry comments from readers - (which readers?). And Soros himself - that a multi-multi-multi billionaire he is,  will certainly not bother about an old lady blogging in one corner of the world, whose social media followers are non-existent. So Soros - he is being awarded by the outgoing American president Joe Biden. According to reliable sources - our TV channels, he is being awarded for being anti-our-great-leader, which naturally means he is awarded for being anti-India.  Yes,  who knows   the plans of great Industrialists? Whom they buy, to gain what?  We, the common folk can not begin to imagine....

 I was asked a deep and profound question recently. What do I do for happiness? How does one answer that? One has spent an entire lifetime avoiding uncomfortable tasks, situations, but not exactly doing happy things either.  But more than that question, what bothers me today is what do I do? From morning to evening? Entire 15-16 hours in the day and 365 days in the year? How much of the unlimited internet browsing can one bear?  We have all heard the story of life of a man being only 20 years and then he begged the life-span of a monkey, a donkey, a parrot etc and made it into a large span of 100 years. But why did he have to do that? See we are born. We grow up. Then we do all that 'phoolo, phalo'. Produce offspring and raise them. Then our duty on this earth is done. It is time to leave the planet. Say tata bye bye.  I am not saying there aren't great men and women who contribute to the society  well into their late 90s and beyond. But what about the common fo...